Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Day 10 - Feature Writing

Day – 10 Feature Writing

How to Produce a feature article

1. Use your intuition – visualize the story
2. Garner your sources
3. Questions and answers
4. Conducting the interview
5. Resource review
6. Story Outline
7. First Draft
8. Rewrite

1. Use your intuition – visualize the story

Whether you are given an assignment or you have had the luxury of choosing your own topic, it can be useful to create a model in your mind of how you want the story to look: its length, scope, style (gravity), number of quotes, number of direct references, etc. It can be useful to build a checklist.

Question: what sort of story will feature several quotes? A lot of facts and figures? When’s a good time to “keep it light?”

2. Garner your sources

Once you know your topic and you have a general idea of how you want your story to look, it’s time to start chasing your sources.
o Constantly build your Rolodex – know who your reliables are, but don’t get in the habit of relying on them.
o Search the Archives – what’s been written on the topic, what’s useful, what’s not worth repeating (the 20% rule)
o Keep things fresh – Find people and resources that can supply with information about breaking topics and who are able to give interesting answers to creative questions
o Rank your sources – order the list of people you wish to contact, have at least 2 back-ups for everyone on your A-list.

Example: Downtown Classic Apartments (describe source search, show story)

3. Questions and answers

It can be useful to build a list of questions before each interview. It can be even more useful to build a list of questions you would like the story to answer. This can help you in choosing your sources.

Question: What are some questions that an article on classic downtown flats could answer?

Show list of questions for Itsik.

4. Conducting interviews
o The pros and cons of paper and pencil (show notebook)
o The pros and cons of recording (show recorder)
o The pros and cons of a PDA/laptop

Question: what could be some appropriate times to use pencil and paper and when could it be wise to use either a recorder, PDA/laptop?

5. Resource review
o Before beginning your outline, you could find it useful to read to review all your resources: read interview transcripts, listen to recorded interviews, read press releases and websites
o Take notes, uncover the gaps

6. Story Outline

Example: Classic Dowtown flats in Budapest

7. First Draft
Start writing. If you’ve come this far, you probably have a pretty good idea of what you want to say.

8. Rewrite
Perhaps better called “re-read”. Read through the piece 3 times, correcting, deleting, adding as you go.

A Career in print Journalism:

o The 3 Ps

o Getting published

o Establishing yourself

o Exploring your skills

o Captain of your ship

- Jacob Doyle

12 Point Checklist for Writing Feature Articles

Copyright © 2003 J Black


A feature story differs from a straight news story in one respect – its intent. A news story provides
information about an event, idea or situation. The feature does a bit more – it may also interpret
news, add depth and colour to a story, instruct or entertain.
Structure:

The introduction is the most important part - entice your reader, hook them in. Use
drama, emotion, quotations, questions, descriptions

The body of the article needs to keep any promises or answer any questions raised in
the introduction - try and maintain an "atmosphere" throughout the writing

While the introduction draws the reader in, the conclusion should be written to help the
reader remember the story - use a strong punchline
Some points to keep in mind:

Focus on human interest - the feel and emotion you put into the article are critical. Don't
think about writing a "science" story - think about writing a "human interest" story.

Be clear about why you are writing the article. Is it to inform, persuade, observe,
evaluate, or evoke emotion?

Write in the active voice. In active writing, people do things. Passive sentences often
have the person doing the action at the end of the sentenceor things being done “by”
someone.

Accuracy is important - you can interpret and embroider but not fudge.

Keep your audience clearly in mind - what are their desires, what really matters to them?

Avoid clichés (cutting edge, world beating, revolutionary) and sentimental statements -
especially at the end of your article.

Interviews for features usually need to be in-depth and in person rather than over the
phone - this enables you to add in colour and detail.

Use anecdotes and direct quotes to tell the story - try not to use too many of your own
words.

Talk to more than one person to provide a more complete picture – but don’t just add in
sources to show how much work you’ve done. Be ruthless about who you put in and who
you leave out!

Decide on the ‘tense' of your story at the start and stick to it. Present tense usually works
best.

Avoid lengthy, complex paragraphs. Your article will appear in columns, so one or two
sentences equals a paragraph.

Ideas come from everywhere - watch, read, listen, keep up to date, take notes. Talk to
people outside the field of science to find out what interests and concerns them.

Tips:

1. Have you selected your intended subject topic and
carefully planned out your idea?

2. Have you sent your idea query pitch to magazines or
newspapers who may be interested? or will you write
"on spec"?

With many magazines and newspapers now accepting material
online it is now possible in many instances to email
your queries directly to the publication. Have you read
the publishers guidelines carefully to make sure if this
method is acceptable?

Before sending your query pitch:

- Is it likely to be what the publisher needs: have you
studied the publication?

- Is the timing right. Have you checked the magazines
editorial calendar? If it is a seasonal article is now
the best time to send your query?

If you have answered yes to these questions then package
your idea into an attractive proposal and send it off to
the editor of your chosen publication.

3. Have you adequately researched your topic?

Read everything you can on the topic from all available
sources - bookstores, newspapers, libraries and internet
sources. Never discard anything about your subject topic
since you don't know until you write it up what you may
actually want to use.

Tip: Saving magazines, newspapers and clippings for the
subject matter can save time when researching future
writing assignments on the same topic or when working
to deadlines. Catalogue all your collected material
for easy reference.

4. Have you interviewed the key person/people you need
for your proposed feature?

Now it is time to organize your material into a feature
article.

5. Have you discarded everything in your research except
for factual information?

True research and liberal use of factual material gives
an original perspective to your feature article and also
avoids the possibility of plagiarism.

6. Have you checked and cross-referenced your facts amongst
your various sources.

7. Have you decided on the length of the article? Have you
checked the length is suitable for the publication you are
sending it to?

Tip: Do not waste the editors time by sending a 2000 word
article to a publication that requires articles between
500-750 words.

8. Will you use quotes in your article? Quotes and
antcedotes bring a story to life. Are the quotes from a
reliable source and have you double checked that quotes
used are acurately recorded?

9. Do you have a good lead, middle and ending?

10. Have you proofread and edited your article to achieve
the best possible version through re-writing your drafts
to arrive at your final version?

Have you made all corrections and necessary changes, have
you checked spelling (this includes people and place names)
grammar, punctuation etc?

11. If the feature is to be visual - have you provided
the appropriate photographs, art work, line drawings,
or other graphic illustrations to compliment your feature?

This increases the payment amount you can expect to
receive if you are a feature photojournalist or travel
feature writer who can offer original photographic
perspectives of your subject topic.

12. Have you included everything in your envelope before
sending your article to the publisher (including photos
properly packaged) or, if the magazine or newspaper
excepts online submissions have you given everything a
final check before hitting the send button?

©Econnect Communication, 2002

Structure of a feature article.

Stage-setting introduction

“Only in his own hometown,” said Jesus, “is a prophet without honor.” Discouraged by his childhood companions’ lack of faith in his abilities, the fabled rabbi shrugged, “and could perform no miracles that day.” Away from home, however, Jesus’ wondrous achievements are well documented. Leaving the nest to find one’s self, to perform one’s miracles, has been the fate, if not the quest, of many expatriates. Such is the plot of a current film, Mix, now playing at area theatres. It is also the story of its chief creators, The Lovy Brothers, Robert and Steven.

Topical Introduction

Born the sons of a Hungarian Jew who weathered the Holocaust in Hungary as a hidden child, the brothers grew up in California, each cast in their father’s eyes as artists in the pure sense of the word. Both strayed. Robert abandoned photography to study advertising and Steven left a promising career as a classical pianist to learn filmmaking. That each attended leading schools in his field was no redemption. Never mind that Steven’s award-winning student effort drew studio funding to produce the feature-length Circuitry Man, today a cult classic along with its sequel, Plughead Rewired. Or that Robert soared as creative director at major ad firms in the US, Turkey, the Czech Republic and Hungary. A smile on their father’s aged face had to wait for the fictive reconciliation of family differences portrayed in Mix – a film directed by Steven, produced by Robert and co-written by both brothers.

First Quote and first topic: emphasis – making a film

“We wanted to create a film we could make in Hungary,” Robert recently told the Budapest Times, “a film anyone with family separation issues could relate to.” A year-and-a-half earlier, brother Steven revealed a more heartfelt motivation, “The film I’m making now is about my father.”

Mr. Lovy the Elder flew into the country of his birth for the film’s release and was present at the opening party at Budapest’s Fészek Klub. His expression was closely watched by Steven’s girlfriend, Fanny. “I was really concerned about how he would react to the film,” she told a friend, “you know this film is about Steven’s life and his relationship to his father.”

The chief character in Mix is a gifted young musician named Mitch who is torn between studying classical piano at the Julliard School of Music – his father’s hope – and following his own passion of scratching out dance mixes behind a pair of old-fashioned record turntables. Mitch is awaiting a second audition for Julliard when a call comes from Budapest announcing the death of his grandfather, thence prompting a trip to the old country with his dad, played by veteran Hungarian actor Janos Kulka. Once there, Mitch finds himself broke and stranded at his grandmother’s after a calamitous night, which many expatriate males may find familiar. Mitch’s journey of self-discovery in a foreign world and liberation from life with his father play out the rest of the film.

Second topic: depth – parallels between filmmakers and main character

One memorable scene that finds father and son at the site of an abandoned movie house bespeaks more of the issues involving the filmmakers and their real life father as well as their chosen art than the relationship between the onscreen father and son.

“Every writer writes about his own experiences,” says Steven from the editing lab of his Buda Castle flat, “some of the film relates to me, but most is fiction or fiction based on observations.”

Are there parallels between the chief character and him?

“I studied classical piano for 10 years,” Steven confesses, “my parents were hoping for a career in music, but I opted for film and music for film.”

Mitch’s journey is one that many expats could relate to, adds Robert, reflecting on his own years of life abroad. “The people who’ve taken the time to live and work in another country are more complex; their minds have had to make more connections as they’ve moved from one reality to another. Most any expat experiences the same cycle Mitch goes through: fascination, paranoia, then respect and maturity or coming of age, even.”

Mitch’s infatuation and brief involvement with Béa, an Internet porn diva, his musical pursuits and those matters of the heart surrounding the relationships explored in the film are captured in the tagline, “Music, Love, Porn.” Hollywood trade journal Variety finds the concept better suited to “European auds,” than what it likely regards as more prudish American viewers. But the Lovys are counting on an interested response from the hometown crowd as they negotiate for American distribution.

Third topic: wrap-up – filmmakers’ background and future plans

Back in Hollywood, Steven co-wrote the music for the 1992 film, A Weekend with Barbara und Ingrid, directed by Gregory Neri. In addition to the Circuitry Man films, which involved the efforts of both brothers, Robert and Steven spent much of the 90s being paid to write screenplays that never made it to the screen. The middle of the decade saw Robert embark on his four-country tour of the advertising industry and Steven channeled his energies to expanding the Internet bubble, project managing the development of online video games. The pair reunited in Budapest in 2001 with the specific aim of making Mix.

Early plans for a lower-budget version of the film were upgraded with the involvement of a co-producer, Jozsef Cirkó, owner and director of Happy Crew Company, a film production firm. “Cirkó’s contributions helped elevate the film to a much higher production value,” says Steven, adding that sponsors also helped finance the project’s improvements. In addition, music videos were culled from the film’s footage and are now being aired on local TV stations.

The film’s two male leads, Mitch (Alex Weed) and his ex-pat street hustler friend Lou (Jeffrey Schechter) are Hollywood imports. Other characters such as Bea (Dorka Gryllus) and heavy handed porn producer Zoltan (Péter Rudolf) along with other cast members were recruited from local talent.

Awards for best editing and best first film (made in Hungary) were recently bestowed upon Mix by Hungarian juries.

The Lovy Brothers speak confidently about future projects, which include more films to be shot in Budapest involving music and some non-Hungarian characters. Tony Curtis, the celebrated American actor of Hungarian descent, has expressed an interest. Meanwhile, Robert has taken the wheel of VIP Communications, a “mid-sized ad firm” with a glitzy new office in Budapest’s fifth district. May expatriate wonders never cease

- Jacob Doyle

Wednesday, February 14, 2007



McDaniel College Budapest
ENG 1103 Introduction to Journalism
Spring 2007

Instructor: Jacob Doyle
Email: Jacob@bbj.hu
Mobile: 06 30 233 5318

Day 5 - Pitches and Angles

1. Considering a pitch

• Finding a topic

• Follow the news in and out of your sector (what’s being covered, what’s not)

• Talk with your sources, talk with your editor (hot topics, available space, etc.)

• Look for leads

• When is a lead ready to become a pitch?

2. Before making a pitch, consider the following:

• What are the unanswered questions? Are there enough to warrant an investigation and a story?

• What are the unanswered questions presented by the news summary below:

Unity government won’t recognize Israel

GAZA (Reuters) - A new Palestinian unity government to be formed after a deal in Mecca between rival Fateh and Hamas factions will not recognize Israel, a political adviser to Hamas Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh said on Saturday.

Ahmed Youssef said the unity government, which he expected Haniyeh to unveil within 10 days, would 'respect' previous Palestinian peace accords with Israel but would not be committed to them, nor to recognizing the Jewish state.

2.1 Do you have sources and access to find answers in time to assemble a story before deadline?
o Number of potential sources
o Time requirements: interviews, confirmations, writing
o Additional requirements: photos, follow-ups, etc.
o Back-up plan

Tip: Make multiple pitches. If your editor or news-team rejects one, you have others to fall back on.

• Samples:
o A new office building has remained unoccupied for 14 months since its completion. Why? What happened? Who’s responsible? What’s going to happen? Who’s been affected?
o Clothing in Hungary has recently started featuring brighter colors, in particular red and yellow. Do statistics support this? Where are such colorful clothes being sold? What brands and designers are leading this trend? What do consumers think?
o Budapest is home to many foreign embassies, most if not all of which contain commercial sections. What are the main activities of these commercial sections, especially Hungary’s lead trading partners? How do the activities of different embassies compare? Do they ever work together?


3. Developing an angle

Once you have made initial contact with your sources, have your interviews lined up and have done enough background research to formulate a basic plan for the article, you are ready to write an angle.

See diagram at top of entry.

The below incomplete bit of news will be the basis of "angle" that follows it.

It is known that Hamas and Fatah agreed in Mecca to form a unity government, it will grant non-committal “respect” to past pacts with Israel, but will not recognize Israel.

It is unknown what is meant by “respect”, nor is it known whether this “respect” will be enough for Israel to lift blocks on revenue transfers to the Palestine Authority (PA) and other restrictions. Also unknown is whether the government will relinquish Hamas’ charter which includes both the denial of Israel and advocates violent means to undermine Israel. Moreover, the makeup of the new government, e.g. which party will control which ministries, is also unknown.

The article will explore the consequences of the Mecca accord on the PA’s relationship with Israel as well as the eventual structure and character of the new unity government set in motion by the agreement between two Palestinian factions. The content of the article will derive from interviews with PA and Israeli officials and well as independent sources.

In an actual angle, your editor would probably want to know exactly who your planned sources and you would need to know how to contact them.

Construct an angle based on the following news briefs.

Protest against closing of Dist 6 primary school

Some 150 students, parents and teachers held a demonstration yesterday outside the District 6 local council which was about to make a decision on closing the school. The Vörösmarty Primary School was not on the original list of two out of the district's six primary schools to be shut down because of low student numbers, the school's headmaster Orsolya Takács said. "We recently heard rumors that the council has replaced one of the two schools on the list with Vörösmarty," she said. The school was founded by Hungary's 150-year-old Scottish Mission and it runs an enhanced English and Mathematics module, and a specialized program for dyslexic children. It also houses the country’s only Church of Scotland chapel. The school currently has 268 pupils. (Bloomberg)

Shots fired at Budapest Mosque

Unidentified persons fired several shots at the Budapest mosque of the Hungarian Islamic Community. The small-caliber guns broke two windows, but there was nobody in the hall and there was no personal injury. The community had been threatened over the phone several times earlier, and had received a message, written on the door, saying “You shall all die!” (MH 24)


4. Assignment: Develop 1 to 3 pitches for articles to present at the first news-team meeting to be held at the beginning of Wednesday’s class.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Day 4 - Choosing a sector

McDaniel College Budapest
ENG 1103 Introduction to Journalism
Spring 2007

Instructor: Jacob Doyle
Email: Jacob@bbj.hu
Mobile: 06 30 233 5318

Day 4 - Choosing a sector

Why Specialise?

1. Reflect on your own interests and on what you wish to learn more about
• Your favorite conspiracy theory
o Water power
o Genetically modified food
2. Get familiar with topics covered regularly by the media

• Arts
• Books
• Combat
• Companies
• Crime
• Defense
• Diplomacy
• Economy
• Education
• Energy
• Environment
• Finance
• Film
• Fitness
• Gaming
• Health
• Information Technology
• Insurance
• Labor
• Manufacturing
• Politics
• Pharmaceuticals
• Real Estate
• Science
• Sport(s)
• Telecommunications
• Others?


3. Follow some writers on various subjects, get familiar with the issues they cover
4. Study the hand that feeds you:
• Familiarize yourself with the topics covered by the publications your read and may be able to write for
• Get to know their readers and their advertisers
5. Sort out what issues are most relevant to you and your “space”
• Think about what you liked as a child, what you like as an adult, what has consistently brought you happiness, what gives you a reason to live
• Learn what the public wants to read and what sources are able to deliver
6. Develop a “code of ethics”
• Know what you will do and what you won’t do to get a story
• Don’t compromise your future
• Don’t compromise the safety of others
• Don’t compromise your readers’ access
• Work for the good guys
7. Pitch your first story
8. Build your sources
• The Internet, the mother of all sources
o Read several sites regularly, both general news sites and ones that specialize in your sector
o Develop a flair for the unusual, for the unknown and for the unseen
o Develop a habit of getting curious and satisfying that curiosity: i.e. look for “gaps” and “holes” in stories and search for more . . .
o Develop an online community of sources
• Live sources:
o Develop relationships with your sources, formally and informally
o Foster “marriages of interest”
• Don’t offend, but don’t pamper
o Avoid “conflicts of interest”
• Suppress ulterior motives
• Avoid stepping on toes
9. Keep a “Reporter’s Notebook”
• Organize your notebook topic and date
• Keep a record of all your interviews
• Take notes in your “quite time”
• Keep a running journal of what you learn on your “beat”
10. Sector coverage of Real Estate
• Advantages & Disadvantages
• Sources: agencies, developers, investors, gov’t officials, etc.
• Where to publish
11. Energy sector
• Idealism vs. business practicality
• Readers
• Sources and dangers
12. Check out some sectors you think may like to cover and write a short summary with headline describing that sector.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Day 3 - Writing Headlines

McDaniel College Budapest
ENG 1103 Introduction to Journalism
Spring 2007

Instructor: Jacob Doyle
Email: Jacob@bbj.hu
Mobile: 06 30 233 5318

Day 3 – Headline Writing

Create headlines with impact. The most effective words in a headline are eye-catching words like "announces" and "new." Comparative words like "better" or "more" can also draw attention to the article. The headline is the "hook" that lures readers into reading more. Headlines must be compelling.

Many beginning journalists make the mistake of embellishing their headlines. Too much information, or confusing information, is a turnoff. Most importantly, you should never sacrifice accuracy for the sake of a flashy headline.

Here are some guidelines for writing headlines:

• Determine the most significant information your most important reader will derive from the news.

• Try and state that information in seven words or less.

• Ask yourself if your statement is meaningful to someone who knows little or nothing about the subject of the article.

• When actually writing the headline, try to achieve the greatest impact using the fewest words.
• Your headline doesn't need to be quite as dramatic as a tabloid headline:

o ELEVATOR PLUNGE KILLS CLUBGOER
o B'KLYN COPS DIG FOR DEMISED GUYS

• Most readers are looking for information in the headline, so try to at least include who, what, and why.
• Whatever the headline, you must accurately reflect the content that follows.


A good news headline is concise, informative and, at times, entertaining. When you write a news headline, your goal is both to inform and to hook the reader into reading further. Some steps to follow:

1. Read the article closely; identify the underlying theme.
2. Express the theme in an active voice using as few words as possible. Active verbs lend immediacy to a story. If a reader sees a headline written in a passive voice, he or she might glance right over it.
3. Keep your headline in present tense.
4. Keep it simple. A typical headline is a short, direct sentence without extra adjectives or adverbs.
5. Provide enough information in the headline to give the casual reader an impression of the entire story.

Overall Tips & Warnings

• Don’t try to be overly witty.
• Make sure you don’t misrepresent the story by choosing a headline that doesn’t cover the main subject of your piece.
• Make sure the headline can stand on its own.
• Always lead with the latest information, even if the story happened yesterday. This also lends a sense of immediacy to the story.




1. From passive to headline

Passive Voice
It is believed by the candidate that a ceiling must be placed on the budget by Congress.

Active Voice
The candidate believes that Congress must place a ceiling on the budget.

Headline
Candidate Believes Congress Must Place Ceiling On Budget

Tip: Look for a "by" phrase, if you find one, the sentence may be in the passive voice. Rewrite the sentence so that the subject buried in the "by" clause is closer to the beginning of the sentence.

Passive Voice
The man was bitten by the dog.

Active Voice
The dog bit the man.

Headline
Dog Bites Man

If the subject of the sentence is somewhat anonymous, see if you can use a general term, such as "researchers," or "the study," or "experts in this field."

Passive Voice
It was earlier demonstrated that heart attacks can be caused by high stress.

Active Voice
Researchers earlier showed that high stress can cause heart attacks.

Headline
?

2. Example headlines - Examine the news headlines below and take note of the language and grammar

At Least 130 Die as Blast Levels Baghdad Market
Deadly Bird Flu Confirmed in British Turkeys
Hamas Fighters Appear to Tighten Hold in Gaza
German fans single out 'racist'
Nepali becomes both man and woman
Iraq fire downed US helicopters
German 1970s 'radicals' surrender
Jakarta floods death toll rises


Travel Feature Headlines
In Cuba, Finding a Tiny Corner of Jewish Life
Chasing Snow South in Argentina
In Warsaw, a Once-Lawless Area Starts Its Way Up
Making the Most of Those Long Argentine Nights
Super Bowl Ads of Cartoonish Violence, Perhaps Reflecting Toll of War

Business Feature Headlines
Internet Boom in China Is Built on Virtual Fun
A Long-Delayed Ad System Has Yahoo Crossing Its Fingers


3. Convert to headlines

Jennifer Lopez will receive an award for her work as producer and star of a film.

Shahzadpur police yesterday arrested a 'regional leader' of Purba Banglar Communist Party (PBCP) and recovered a shutter gun from his possession at Saila Chapri village the upazila.

Satu Deo, an unmarried young girl, has proved how women can also contribute to the national economy.

Amusement parks and recreational facilities have thrived in parts of the West Bank lately, mainly as a reaction to the often draconian Israeli travel restrictions and protracted closures that affect the vast bulk of Palestinians.

4. Write headlines for the following news summaries

All parliamentary parties were present at a discussion yesterday on the country's competitiveness - the first of a series of six discussions addressing key questions affecting the national interest. The closed meeting is the first five-party meeting since main opposition Fidesz and its Christian Democratic partner KDNP stated their refusal to cooperate with the governing parties as long as PM Ferenc Gyurcsány holds office. (Bloomberg, MH 11)


Public employees will stage a two-hour strike February 21 after talks with the government for higher wages failed to bring results, newswire MTI reported, citing the chairman of a committee of trade unions. The strike will affect some 800,000 employees working in public health, education, administration, social and cultural institutions, MTI reported, citing Endre Szabó. (Bloomberg, MH 4)


The National Gypsy Authority (OCÖ) urged parliament to renew its attempts to pass legislation against hate speech, the authority's chairman Orbán Kolompár told reporters yesterday. After a recent increase in verbal attacks against Roma, legal means are needed, said Kolompár. OCÖ also calls on Fidesz and allied Roma organisation Lungo Drom to distance themselves from extreme right organizations, such as Jobbik, accused of disguised hate speech. (Bloomberg)


HALESWORTH - Square, steel gas chambers were delivered to a Suffolk farm yesterday. All 159,000 turkeys at the hub of Bernard Matthews's business empire were to be placed into crates, forklifted into the chambers and gassed. Workers carrying out the slaughter near Halesworth, Suffolk, were offered avian flu drugs such as Tamiflu and wore protective clothing. Their grim task started after confirmation that the deaths of 2500 birds had been caused by the H5N1 strain of bird flu, which can be fatal to humans. As a 3km protection zone and 10km surveillance zone were set up around Holton farm, the British Government attempted to calm fears over a threat to public health, saying there was no risk from eating poultry. – 02.05.07 New Zealand Herald

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Spring 2007 Syllabus

McDaniel College Budapest
ENG 1103 Introduction to Journalism
Spring 2007

Instructor: Jacob Doyle
Email: Jacob@bbj.hu
Mobile: 06 30 233 5318

About the Instructor: Jacob Doyle has been active in the field of journalism for more than 20 years. He has written for company newsletters, student newspapers, academic journals, newsweeklies, trade journals, a literary journal and blogs. He is currently the energy sector columnist for the Budapest Business Journal where he is also director of commercial intelligence.

Course Overview: The goal of this course is to acquire and refine the tools needed to produce captivating, revealing and thought-provoking works of journalism. Participants in this course will “learn by doing,” as the class will be organized to approximate the environment and functions of a news organization (henceforth referred to as the news-team). The news-team will publish an online news product, a “newsblog” that will consist of articles produced by the team. This ongoing process will be accompanied by lectures, reading assignments and discussions, all aimed at strengthening one’s journalistic competence.

In the third week of the semester, each participant will choose or be assigned to perform a role within the news team, either as a reporter or as an editor. These roles will rotate among the participants as the semester progresses. Each reporter will choose or be assigned a sector (“beat”) to cover. This beat may or may not change, depending on the needs and interests of the individual and the team. In addition to reporter, other assignments will include: managing editor, copy editor and layout editor. The class instructor will be the full-time editor-in-chief. Apart from the editor-in-chief, all assignments will rotate. This means that whoever is assigned to be managing editor one week will be a reporter another week and that a reporter one week may find herself as an editor two weeks later, and so on.

Articles produced by the news-team will appear on the collaborative newsblog that will resemble an online newspaper. Articles will be submitted at deadline to the editors who will then edit the copy and communicate with the reporters about corrections, addenda, etc.

All participants in the class are required to read the articles and post comments. Comments may address any aspect of the article: content, style, structure, word usage, veracity, objectivity, etc.

The newsblog will be updated weekly. The deadlines faced by individual reporters will depend on their assignments.

Assignment Type Description Deadline
News Brief Short, 1-2 paragraph stories. Typically re current events and drawn from online sources. E.g. Gas Prices Rise 1 week.
News story 500-800 word stories most often based around a single topic that is of current significance to readers. Quotes from 1-3 sources, based on interviews and online research. E.g. Prime Minister Rejects MP’s Cost-Cutting Bid 2 weeks
Feature story Typically upwards of 1200 words. Derives from multiple sources. Occasionally in 2 or more parts. In-depth exploration of a theme. E.g. Rise of the Wonderbread Ghetto: Politics Transform As The World’s White Population Declines 3-4 weeks

Beginning with the third week of classes, participants will receive their newsteam assignments at each Wednesday meeting of the class. On the following Monday meeting, each participant who is working that week as a reporter should report to class with an “angle” (a short, structured approach) on the story. The story assignments given to each reporter will fit with the reporter’s beat. Stories will be proposed, “pitched” to the editors – with input from the other reporters – at a story meeting held at the beginning of each Wednesday class. Story meetings will be the forum to discuss and decide the themes and topics for each week’s issue of the news blog and to finalize assignments.

In addition to story meetings, class sessions will consist of lectures and discussions on different aspects of newsgathering, writing and delivery. These will accompany reading assignments from the main course textbook, Writing and Reporting News (WRN). Other reading assignments will be distributed on an ad-hoc basis throughout the semester.

Required texts:
• Writing and Reporting News: A Coaching Method by Carol Rich
• Various handouts, web-based reading assignments

Assignments and Grading

The articles you produce as a member of the news-team will account for 60% of your grade. You will be required to deliver approximately 5000 words of articles through the course of the semester. This will typically mean a combination of news briefs, news stories and feature stories. You will also be asked at different times throughout the course to edit articles for the newsblog, which will also count as part of this portion of your grade.

Comments on each of the articles posted to the newsblog are required and will count for 10% of your final grade.

An exam will be given at mid-term, reviewing the topics covered in course lectures until then. It will count for 20% of your final grade.

Class attendance and participation is required and counts for 10% of your final grade. You are highly encouraged to come to class on time, for your own benefit and that of the news-team. Latecomers will not be admitted more than 10 minutes after the start of class.

Class Schedule

Class Date Topic Accompanied Reading
29-Jan Exploring the Undiscovered Country
31-Jan Building a story WRN, Ch. 3
5-Feb Writing a Headline Handout
7-Feb Choosing a sector WRN, ch. 18
12-Feb Pitches and Angles WRN, ch. 5
14-Feb Prospecting, tapping and keeping your sources WRN, ch. 6
19-Feb The fine art of interviewing WRN, ch. 7
21-Feb Regarding an assignment Handout
26-Feb Media Convergence WRN, ch.2
5-Mar Feature Writing WRN, ch. 11
7-Mar Collaborating Handout
12-Mar Using what’s out there to write what’s not Handout
14-Mar Covering sensitive issues WRN, ch. 17
19-Mar Midterm Test
21-Mar Factual errors – and how to avoid them WRN, ch. 15
26-Mar Defining your style Handout
28-Mar Covering Media Events WRN, ch. 20
11-Apr Covering the IT sector Guest Lecturer
16-Apr Covering the Energy Sector Wed-based reading assignment
18-Apr Scandal Reporting Guest Lecturer
23-Apr Combat Photography Guest Lecturer
25-Apr Clandestine Reporting Handout
30-Apr Travel Journalism Handout
2-May Establishing an online identity Wed-based reading assignment
7-May Conflicts (and marriages) of interest
9-May Obituaries WRN, ch. 19
14-May Weddings & Circumcisions Handout
16-May How to get published – and paid WRN, ch. 26

31 January 2007 - news summary lesson

McDaniel College Budapest
ENG 1103 Introduction to Journalism
Spring 2007

Instructor: Jacob Doyle
Email: Jacob@bbj.hu
Mobile: 06 30 233 5318


4:00 – 4:30: Review news summaries
• Review structure of a news summary
• Dissecting news summaries
• Class comments
4:30 – 5:00: write news summaries

5:00 – 5:15: swap papers, make comments
5:15 – 5:30: follow-up discussion


1. Short Summaries (teasers)
Read the headlines and short summary teasers and examine their structure and language.

Europe Resists U.S. Push to Curb Iran Ties
By STEVEN R. WEISMAN
The resistance threatens to open a new rift between Europe and the United States over Iran.

Bush Directive Increases Sway on Regulation
By ROBERT PEAR
An order strengthens the hand of the White House in shaping rules often generated by civil servants and scientific experts.

A Lively Market, Legal and Not, for Software Bugs
By BRAD STONE
Software vulnerabilities are bought and sold online, both by legitimate security companies and by thieves.

* First the Wait for Vista; Now the Marketing Barrage

Hamas-led Govt Accepts Saudi Invitation

2. Write headlines and short summary teasers from the following news briefs.
Read the news briefs below and write DOUBLE-SPACED headlines and teasers in the style of section 1. Once finished, exchange papers with your partner and write comments.

28/01/2007 - GAZA, (Reuters) - The Hamas-led government said on Sunday it accepted an invitation by Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah for talks in the holy city of Mecca with rival Palestinian faction Fatah.

"We welcome the invitation by His Majesty King Abdullah and the government appreciates this generous position, which comes in an attempt to resolve Palestinian internal differences," Palestinian Foreign Ministry spokesman Taher An-Nono said.

Azzam al-Ahmad, a senior Fatah official and aide to President Mahmoud Abbas, said Fatah had not yet formally received an invitation and would wait until it arrived before responding.

Twenty-two Palestinians have been killed in three days of fierce clashes in Gaza between Fatah and Hamas gunmen, which followed inconclusive talks in Damascus between Abbas and Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal a week ago.

Hamas called off talks to form coalition government with Fatah on Friday, the bloodiest day of the recent fighting.


26/07/2006

By Shaker Abu Taleb

Riyadh, Asharq Al-Awsat - More people are using the internet in the Persian Gulf than ever before, a study commissioned by the Madar Center for Research concluded. In the Gulf Cooperation Council member states, the number of internet users increased from 513,000 in June 2003 to 1.8 million for the same period last year. This represents a 250-fold increase in two years.

In total, 5.24% of the population of GCC member states uses the internet. Bahrain and the United Arab Emirates had the most users, with 12.9% of the population using the internet through DSL services.

Jamil Azro, director-general of an internet company in the GCC, told Asharq Al Awsat, “Broadband internet services are expensive across the Gulf and are not available to the public, in comparison to international prices and speed. This negatively affects the spread of the internet and information technology and hampers the establishment of an electronic government and a numerical society.”

Since 2003, the price of 256k internet connection fell from $108 dollars a month, on average, in GCC member states, to $76 dollars a month on average, last year. However, it remains significantly higher than the international average of $28 dollars a month.


3. Longer Summaries
Read the news summaries below and examine their structure and language.

01/30/07 - Coin Shortage Means a Penny Could Be Worth 5 Cents Soon
A potential shortage of coins in the United States could mean all those pennies in your piggy bank could be worth five times their current value soon, says an economist at the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago. Sharply rising prices of metals such as copper and nickel have meant the face value of pennies and nickels are worth less than the material that they are made of, increasing the risk that speculators could melt the coins and sell them for a profit. Such a risk spurred the U.S. Mint last month to issue regulations limiting melting and exporting of the coins. Raw material prices in general have skyrocketed in the last five years, sending copper prices to record highs of $4.16 a pound in May. Copper pennies number 154 to a pound. Prices have since come down from that peak but could still trek higher, Velde said. Since 1982, the Mint began making copper-coated zinc pennies to prevent metals speculators from taking advantage of lofty base metal prices. Though the penny is losing its importance — it is worth only four seconds of the average American's work time, assuming a 40-hour workweek — the Mint is making more and more pennies.

01/29/07 - Surprising downsides of car pollution
Particles from car exhausts generate more persistent and longer-lasting clouds but – paradoxically – less rain, new research suggests. Furthermore, putting more of these particles into the atmosphere reduces the low-level winds, which could reduce the amount of wind power available in very polluted regions. The result is that arid but populated regions could suffer a triple blow as a result of vehicle pollution: less water, less hydropower and less wind energy. The US state of California is a prime example. It is home to many of the biggest cities in the US, has tens of millions of cars, has suffered energy cuts and drought, and relies on wind power for 1.5% of its energy. Yet Mark Jacobson of Stanford University in California says that aerosol pollution could be causing a 2% to 5% reduction in water supply. Higher concentrations of aerosols were closely associated with slower ground winds. Jacobson and Kaufman then used computer models to support the idea that there was a cause and effect relationship behind this correlation. "When you take out the aerosols – and that was all we removed – you find that wind speeds go up and rainfall goes up," says Jacobson. The researchers calculated that the net effect in California is that winds are up to 8% slower than they would be if there were no aerosol particles floating around, and rainfall is 2% to 5% lower.


3.1 Dissecting a news summary
Examine the below news summary dissections and get familiar with how they are constructed.



Teaser










Headline
Coin Shortage Means a Penny Could Be Worth 5 Cents Soon

Teaser
A potential shortage of coins in the United States could mean all those pennies in your piggy bank could be worth five times their current value soon, says an economist at the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago.

Conflict
Sharply rising prices of metals such as copper and nickel have meant the face value of pennies and nickels are worth less than the material that they are made of, increasing the risk that speculators could melt the coins and sell them for a profit.

Resolution
Such a risk spurred the U.S. Mint last month to issue regulations limiting melting and exporting of the coins. Raw material prices in general have skyrocketed in the last five years, sending copper prices to record highs of $4.16 a pound in May. Copper pennies number 154 to a pound. Prices have since come down from that peak but could still trek higher, Velde said. Since 1982, the Mint began making copper-coated zinc pennies to prevent metals speculators from taking advantage of lofty base metal prices. Though the penny is losing its importance — it is worth only four seconds of the average American's work time, assuming a 40-hour workweek — the Mint is making more and more pennies.


Headline
Surprising downsides of car pollution

Teaser
Particles from car exhausts generate more persistent and longer-lasting clouds but – paradoxically – less rain, new research suggests.

Conflict
Furthermore, putting more of these particles into the atmosphere reduces the low-level winds, which could reduce the amount of wind power available in very polluted regions. The result is that arid but populated regions could suffer a triple blow as a result of vehicle pollution: less water, less hydropower and less wind energy. The US state of California is a prime example. It is home to many of the biggest cities in the US, has tens of millions of cars, has suffered energy cuts and drought, and relies on wind power for 1.5% of its energy.

Resolution
Yet Mark Jacobson of Stanford University in California says that aerosol pollution could be causing a 2% to 5% reduction in water supply. Higher concentrations of aerosols were closely associated with slower ground winds. Jacobson and Kaufman then used computer models to support the idea that there was a cause and effect relationship behind this correlation. "When you take out the aerosols – and that was all we removed – you find that wind speeds go up and rainfall goes up," says Jacobson. The researchers calculated that the net effect in California is that winds are up to 8% slower than they would be if there were no aerosol particles floating around, and rainfall is 2% to 5% lower.



4. Dissect the following summaries

Japan Space Program Lagging While India and Iran Push Forward

Japan announced earlier this month that it may scrap a lunar mission originally scheduled for lift off in 1995. The mission would have been Japan's first to the surface of the moon, putting them in company with only the United States, Russia and the European Union. While Japan has yet to launch a manned flight of its own, India seems to be inching ever closer to accomplishing its goal of 2008. India's space agency announced the safe return of an orbiting capsule that "was blasted into space as one of four payloads on January 10 from a launch pad 100 km (60 miles) north of the southern city of Chennai. It splashed down in the Bay of Bengal 11 days later, boosting plans for a lunar mission in 2008." Iran also seems on the verge of a space program breakthrough by converting its most powerful ballistic missile into a satellite launch vehicle, which is set to launch in the near future. Some are skeptical of the space exploration aspirations of the country, however, suspecting a "wolf in sheep's clothing" for testing longer-range missile strike technologies.

12/31/06 - FDA Decides Cloned Animals Safe to Eat

"After five years of research, the Food and Drug Administration has decided that meat and milk from cloned animals is safe to eat. From the article: 'The government believes meat and milk from cattle, swine and goat clones is as safe to eat as the food we eat every day, said Stephen F. Sundlof, director of the FDA Center for Veterinary Medicine. Meat and milk from the offspring of clones is also safe, the agency concluded. Officials said they did not have enough information to decide whether food from sheep clones is safe. If food from clones is indistinguishable, FDA doesn't have the authority to require labels, Sundlof said. Companies trying to distance themselves from cloning must be careful with their wording, he added.'"


5. Create a news summary from the following “raw” copy

The Wang Shum Ho Prototype Electricity Generator was reportedly demonstrated to five Chinese Officials on Jan 15, 2007. Lawrence Tseung, a colleague of the inventor, has said the plan is to initially build four 5kW working units. One of these will be located in Beijing, another in Hong Kong and the third one at the United Nations in New York The fourth unit is to serve as a portable demonstration device. All will be made available to universities for academic validation. Then, 200 more will be produced. They intend to present one of these to each member country of the United Nations, as a gift from China. Mass production may begin in 2008. Tseung has written: Devices of this nature are “converting the electromagnetic wave energy that surrounds us all the time. Some call this Zero Point Energy. That energy is due to the rotational motion of the electrons. Unless the electrons stop spinning and fall into the nucleus, that electromagnetic energy exists.” Tseung states: “The World Energy Crisis is effectively over.” (from zpenergy.com) / We are actually immersed in electromagnetic waves. When electrons rotating around the nucleus change orbits, they give rise to electromagnetic waves. Light is only one form of electromagnetic waves. We emit and receive electromagnetic waves all the time. Unless the electrons stop rotating and fall into the nuclei, there will be electromagnetic waves. Thus we are never in a CLOSED system. We are always in an OPEN system with energy interchanges. For example, we were in calm waters and good sunshine. If we did not know how to use solar panels, we might conclude that we were in a CLOSED system. We should use our muscle power to row the boat. The Lee-Tseung Patent information (PCT/IB2005/000138) states that Energy can be extracted (Lead Out, Lead Out, and Lead Out with Pulse Force) from Energy Fields via oscillation, vibration, rotation or flux changes. Energy Fields can be gravitational, magnetic, electric or electromagnetic.

31 January 2007 - Reading Assignment

31 January 2007

Homework - Read the following essay an be prepared to discuss it for class on Monday, 5 February

Politics and the English Language

By Eric Blair (George Orwell)

Most people who bother with the matter at all would admit that the English language is in a bad way, but it is generally assumed that we cannot by conscious action do anything about it. Our civilization is decadent and our language -- so the argument runs -- must inevitably share in the general collapse. It follows that any struggle against the abuse of language is a sentimental archaism, like preferring candles to electric light or hansom cabs to aeroplanes. Underneath this lies the half-conscious belief that language is a natural growth and not an instrument which we shape for our own purposes.

Now, it is clear that the decline of a language must ultimately have political and economic causes: it is not due simply to the bad influence of this or that individual writer. But an effect can become a cause, reinforcing the original cause and producing the same effect in an intensified form, and so on indefinitely. A man may take to drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks. It is rather the same thing that is happening to the English language. It becomes ugly and inaccurate because our thoughts are foolish, but the slovenliness of our language makes it easier for us to have foolish thoughts. The point is that the process is reversible. Modern English, especially written English, is full of bad habits which spread by imitation and which can be avoided if one is willing to take the necessary trouble. If one gets rid of these habits one can think more clearly, and to think clearly is a necessary first step toward political regeneration: so that the fight against bad English is not frivolous and is not the exclusive concern of professional writers. I will come back to this presently, and I hope that by that time the meaning of what I have said here will have become clearer. Meanwhile, here are five specimens of the English language as it is now habitually written.

These five passages have not been picked out because they are especially bad -- I could have quoted far worse if I had chosen -- but because they illustrate various of the mental vices from which we now suffer. They are a little below the average, but are fairly representative examples. I number them so that I can refer back to them when necessary:

1. I am not, indeed, sure whether it is not true to say that the Milton who once seemed not unlike a seventeenth-century Shelley had not become, out of an experience ever more bitter in each year, more alien [sic] to the founder of that Jesuit sect which nothing could induce him to tolerate.

Professor Harold Laski
(Essay in Freedom of Expression )

2. Above all, we cannot play ducks and drakes with a native battery of idioms which prescribes egregious collocations of vocables as the Basic put up with for tolerate , or put at a loss for bewilder .

Professor Lancelot Hogben (Interglossia )

3. On the one side we have the free personality: by definition it is not neurotic, for it has neither conflict nor dream. Its desires, such as they are, are transparent, for they are just what institutional approval keeps in the forefront of consciousness; another institutional pattern would alter their number and intensity; there is little in them that is natural, irreducible, or culturally dangerous. But on the other side ,the social bond itself is nothing but the mutual reflection of these self-secure integrities. Recall the definition of love. Is not this the very picture of a small academic? Where is there a place in this hall of mirrors for either personality or fraternity?

Essay on psychology in Politics (New York )

4. All the "best people" from the gentlemen's clubs, and all the frantic fascist captains, united in common hatred of Socialism and bestial horror at the rising tide of the mass revolutionary movement, have turned to acts of provocation, to foul incendiarism, to medieval legends of poisoned wells, to legalize their own destruction of proletarian organizations, and rouse the agitated petty-bourgeoise to chauvinistic fervor on behalf of the fight against the revolutionary way out of the crisis.

Communist pamphlet

5. If a new spirit is to be infused into this old country, there is one thorny and contentious reform which must be tackled, and that is the humanization and galvanization of the B.B.C. Timidity here will bespeak canker and atrophy of the soul. The heart of Britain may be sound and of strong beat, for instance, but the British lion's roar at present is like that of Bottom in Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream -- as gentle as any sucking dove. A virile new Britain cannot continue indefinitely to be traduced in the eyes or rather ears, of the world by the effete languors of Langham Place, brazenly masquerading as "standard English." When the Voice of Britain is heard at nine o'clock, better far and infinitely less ludicrous to hear aitches honestly dropped than the present priggish, inflated, inhibited, school-ma'amish arch braying of blameless bashful mewing maidens!

Letter in Tribune

Each of these passages has faults of its own, but, quite apart from avoidable ugliness, two qualities are common to all of them. The first is staleness of imagery; the other is lack of precision. The writer either has a meaning and cannot express it, or he inadvertently says something else, or he is almost indifferent as to whether his words mean anything or not. This mixture of vagueness and sheer incompetence is the most marked characteristic of modern English prose, and especially of any kind of political writing. As soon as certain topics are raised, the concrete melts into the abstract and no one seems able to think of turns of speech that are not hackneyed: prose consists less and less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning, and more and more of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse. I list below, with notes and examples, various of the tricks by means of which the work of prose construction is habitually dodged:


Dying metaphors. A newly invented metaphor assists thought by evoking a visual image, while on the other hand a metaphor which is technically "dead" (e.g. iron resolution ) has in effect reverted to being an ordinary word and can generally be used without loss of vividness. But in between these two classes there is a huge dump of worn-out metaphors which have lost all evocative power and are merely used because they save people the trouble of inventing phrases for themselves. Examples are: Ring the changes on, take up the cudgel for, toe the line, ride roughshod over, stand shoulder to shoulder with, play into the hands of, no axe to grind, grist to the mill, fishing in troubled waters, on the order of the day, Achilles' heel, swan song, hotbed . Many of these are used without knowledge of their meaning (what is a "rift," for instance?), and incompatible metaphors are frequently mixed, a sure sign that the writer is not interested in what he is saying. Some metaphors now current have been twisted out of their original meaning without those who use them even being aware of the fact. For example, toe the line is sometimes written as tow the line. Another example is the hammer and the anvil, now always used with the implication that the anvil gets the worst of it. In real life it is always the anvil that breaks the hammer, never the other way about: a writer who stopped to think what he was saying would avoid perverting the original phrase.


Operators or verbal false limbs. These save the trouble of picking out appropriate verbs and nouns, and at the same time pad each sentence with extra syllables which give it an appearance of symmetry. Characteristic phrases are render inoperative, militate against, make contact with, be subjected to, give rise to, give grounds for, have the effect of, play a leading part (role) in, make itself felt, take effect, exhibit a tendency to, serve the purpose of, etc., etc. The keynote is the elimination of simple verbs. Instead of being a single word, such as break, stop, spoil, mend, kill, a verb becomes a phrase, made up of a noun or adjective tacked on to some general-purpose verb such as prove, serve, form, play, render. In addition, the passive voice is wherever possible used in preference to the active, and noun constructions are used instead of gerunds (by examination of instead of by examining). The range of verbs is further cut down by means of the -ize and de- formations, and the banal statements are given an appearance of profundity by means of the not un- formation. Simple conjunctions and prepositions are replaced by such phrases as with respect to, having regard to, the fact that, by dint of, in view of, in the interests of, on the hypothesis that; and the ends of sentences are saved by anticlimax by such resounding commonplaces as greatly to be desired, cannot be left out of account, a development to be expected in the near future, deserving of serious consideration, brought to a satisfactory conclusion, and so on and so forth.


Pretentious diction. Words like phenomenon, element, individual (as noun), objective, categorical, effective, virtual, basic, primary, promote, constitute, exhibit, exploit, utilize, eliminate, liquidate, are used to dress up a simple statement and give an air of scientific impartiality to biased judgements. Adjectives like epoch-making, epic, historic, unforgettable, triumphant, age-old, inevitable, inexorable, veritable, are used to dignify the sordid process of international politics, while writing that aims at glorifying war usually takes on an archaic colour, its characteristic words being: realm, throne, chariot, mailed fist, trident, sword, shield, buckler, banner, jackboot, clarion. Foreign words and expressions such as cul de sac, ancien regime, deus ex machina, mutatis mutandis, status quo, gleichschaltung, weltanschauung , are used to give an air of culture and elegance. Except for the useful abbreviations i.e., e.g. and etc., there is no real need for any of the hundreds of foreign phrases now current in the English language. Bad writers, and especially scientific, political, and sociological writers, are nearly always haunted by the notion that Latin or Greek words are grander than Saxon ones, and unnecessary words like expedite, ameliorate, predict, extraneous, deracinated, clandestine, subaqueous , and hundreds of others constantly gain ground from their Anglo-Saxon numbers. The jargon peculiar to Marxist writing (hyena, hangman, cannibal, petty bourgeois, these gentry, lackey, flunkey, mad dog, White Guard, etc.) consists largely of words translated from Russian, German, or French; but the normal way of coining a new word is to use Latin or Greek root with the appropriate affix and, where necessary, the size formation. It is often easier to make up words of this kind (deregionalize, impermissible, extramarital, non-fragmentary and so forth) than to think up the English words that will cover one's meaning. The result, in general, is an increase in slovenliness and vagueness.


Meaningless words. In certain kinds of writing, particularly in art criticism and literary criticism, it is normal to come across long passages which are almost completely lacking in meaning. Words like romantic, plastic, values, human, dead, sentimental, natural, vitality, as used in art criticism, are strictly meaningless, in the sense that they not only do not point to any discoverable object, but are hardly ever expected to do so by the reader. When one critic writes, "The outstanding feature of Mr. X's work is its living quality," while another writes, "The immediately striking thing about Mr. X's work is its peculiar deadness," the reader accepts this as a simple difference opinion. If words like black and white were involved, instead of the jargon words dead and living, he would see at once that language was being used in an improper way. Many political words are similarly abused. The word Fascism has now no meaning except in so far as it signifies "something not desirable." The words democracy, socialism, freedom, patriotic, realistic, justice have each of them several different meanings which cannot be reconciled with one another. In the case of a word like democracy, not only is there no agreed definition, but the attempt to make one is resisted from all sides. It is almost universally felt that when we call a country democratic we are praising it: consequently the defenders of every kind of regime claim that it is a democracy, and fear that they might have to stop using that word if it were tied down to any one meaning. Words of this kind are often used in a consciously dishonest way. That is, the person who uses them has his own private definition, but allows his hearer to think he means something quite different. Statements like Marshal Petain was a true patriot, The Soviet press is the freest in the world, The Catholic Church is opposed to persecution, are almost always made with intent to deceive. Other words used in variable meanings, in most cases more or less dishonestly, are: class, totalitarian, science, progressive, reactionary, bourgeois, equality.

Now that I have made this catalogue of swindles and perversions, let me give another example of the kind of writing that they lead to. This time it must of its nature be an imaginary one. I am going to translate a passage of good English into modern English of the worst sort. Here is a well-known verse from Ecclesiastes:

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Here it is in modern English:

Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

This is a parody, but not a very gross one. Exhibit (3) above, for instance, contains several patches of the same kind of English. It will be seen that I have not made a full translation. The beginning and ending of the sentence follow the original meaning fairly closely, but in the middle the concrete illustrations -- race, battle, bread -- dissolve into the vague phrases "success or failure in competitive activities." This had to be so, because no modern writer of the kind I am discussing -- no one capable of using phrases like "objective considerations of contemporary phenomena" -- would ever tabulate his thoughts in that precise and detailed way. The whole tendency of modern prose is away from concreteness. Now analyze these two sentences a little more closely. The first contains forty-nine words but only sixty syllables, and all its words are those of everyday life. The second contains thirty-eight words of ninety syllables: eighteen of those words are from Latin roots, and one from Greek. The first sentence contains six vivid images, and only one phrase ("time and chance") that could be called vague. The second contains not a single fresh, arresting phrase, and in spite of its ninety syllables it gives only a shortened version of the meaning contained in the first. Yet without a doubt it is the second kind of sentence that is gaining ground in modern English. I do not want to exaggerate. This kind of writing is not yet universal, and outcrops of simplicity will occur here and there in the worst-written page. Still, if you or I were told to write a few lines on the uncertainty of human fortunes, we should probably come much nearer to my imaginary sentence than to the one from Ecclesiastes. As I have tried to show, modern writing at its worst does not consist in picking out words for the sake of their meaning and inventing images in order to make the meaning clearer. It consists in gumming together long strips of words which have already been set in order by someone else, and making the results presentable by sheer humbug. The attraction of this way of writing is that it is easy. It is easier -- even quicker, once you have the habit -- to say In my opinion it is not an unjustifiable assumption that than to say I think. If you use ready-made phrases, you not only don't have to hunt about for the words; you also don't have to bother with the rhythms of your sentences since these phrases are generally so arranged as to be more or less euphonious. When you are composing in a hurry -- when you are dictating to a stenographer, for instance, or making a public speech -- it is natural to fall into a pretentious, Latinized style. Tags like a consideration which we should do well to bear in mind or a conclusion to which all of us would readily assent will save many a sentence from coming down with a bump. By using stale metaphors, similes, and idioms, you save much mental effort, at the cost of leaving your meaning vague, not only for your reader but for yourself. This is the significance of mixed metaphors. The sole aim of a metaphor is to call up a visual image. When these images clash -- as in The Fascist octopus has sung its swan song, the jackboot is thrown into the melting pot -- it can be taken as certain that the writer is not seeing a mental image of the objects he is naming; in other words he is not really thinking. Look again at the examples I gave at the beginning of this essay. Professor Laski (1) uses five negatives in fifty three words. One of these is superfluous, making nonsense of the whole passage, and in addition there is the slip -- alien for akin -- making further nonsense, and several avoidable pieces of clumsiness which increase the general vagueness. Professor Hogben (2) plays ducks and drakes with a battery which is able to write prescriptions, and, while disapproving of the everyday phrase put up with, is unwilling to look egregious up in the dictionary and see what it means; (3), if one takes an uncharitable attitude towards it, is simply meaningless: probably one could work out its intended meaning by reading the whole of the article in which it occurs. In (4), the writer knows more or less what he wants to say, but an accumulation of stale phrases chokes him like tea leaves blocking a sink. In (5), words and meaning have almost parted company. People who write in this manner usually have a general emotional meaning -- they dislike one thing and want to express solidarity with another -- but they are not interested in the detail of what they are saying. A scrupulous writer, in every sentence that he writes, will ask himself at least four questions, thus:

1. What am I trying to say?
2. What words will express it?
3. What image or idiom will make it clearer?
4. Is this image fresh enough to have an effect?

And he will probably ask himself two more:

1. Could I put it more shortly?
2. Have I said anything that is avoidably ugly?

But you are not obliged to go to all this trouble. You can shirk it by simply throwing your mind open and letting the ready-made phrases come crowding in. The will construct your sentences for you -- even think your thoughts for you, to a certain extent -- and at need they will perform the important service of partially concealing your meaning even from yourself. It is at this point that the special connection between politics and the debasement of language becomes clear.

In our time it is broadly true that political writing is bad writing. Where it is not true, it will generally be found that the writer is some kind of rebel, expressing his private opinions and not a "party line." Orthodoxy, of whatever colour, seems to demand a lifeless, imitative style. The political dialects to be found in pamphlets, leading articles, manifestos, White papers and the speeches of undersecretaries do, of course, vary from party to party, but they are all alike in that one almost never finds in them a fresh, vivid, homemade turn of speech. When one watches some tired hack on the platform mechanically repeating the familiar phrases -- bestial, atrocities, iron heel, bloodstained tyranny, free peoples of the world, stand shoulder to shoulder -- one often has a curious feeling that one is not watching a live human being but some kind of dummy: a feeling which suddenly becomes stronger at moments when the light catches the speaker's spectacles and turns them into blank discs which seem to have no eyes behind them. And this is not altogether fanciful. A speaker who uses that kind of phraseology has gone some distance toward turning himself into a machine. The appropriate noises are coming out of his larynx, but his brain is not involved, as it would be if he were choosing his words for himself. If the speech he is making is one that he is accustomed to make over and over again, he may be almost unconscious of what he is saying, as one is when one utters the responses in church. And this reduced state of consciousness, if not indispensable, is at any rate favourable to political conformity.

In our time, political speech and writing are largely the defence of the indefensible. Things like the continuance of British rule in India, the Russian purges and deportations, the dropping of the atom bombs on Japan, can indeed be defended, but only by arguments which are too brutal for most people to face, and which do not square with the professed aims of the political parties. Thus political language has to consist largely of euphemism, question-begging and sheer cloudy vagueness. Defenceless villages are bombarded from the air, the inhabitants driven out into the countryside, the cattle machine-gunned, the huts set on fire with incendiary bullets: this is called pacification. Millions of peasants are robbed of their farms and sent trudging along the roads with no more than they can carry: this is called transfer of population or rectification of frontiers. People are imprisoned for years without trial, or shot in the back of the neck or sent to die of scurvy in Arctic lumber camps: this is called elimination of unreliable elements. Such phraseology is needed if one wants to name things without calling up mental pictures of them. Consider for instance some comfortable English professor defending Russian totalitarianism. He cannot say outright, "I believe in killing off your opponents when you can get good results by doing so." Probably, therefore, he will say something like this:

While freely conceding that the Soviet regime exhibits certain features which the humanitarian may be inclined to deplore, we must, I think, agree that a certain curtailment of the right to political opposition is an unavoidable concomitant of transitional periods, and that the rigors which the Russian people have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement.

The inflated style itself is a kind of euphemism. A mass of Latin words falls upon the facts like soft snow, blurring the outline and covering up all the details. The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink. In our age there is no such thing as "keeping out of politics." All issues are political issues, and politics itself is a mass of lies, evasions, folly, hatred, and schizophrenia. When the general atmosphere is bad, language must suffer. I should expect to find -- this is a guess which I have not sufficient knowledge to verify -- that the German, Russian and Italian languages have all deteriorated in the last ten or fifteen years, as a result of dictatorship.

But if thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. A bad usage can spread by tradition and imitation even among people who should and do know better. The debased language that I have been discussing is in some ways very convenient. Phrases like a not unjustifiable assumption, leaves much to be desired, would serve no good purpose, a consideration which we should do well to bear in mind, are a continuous temptation, a packet of aspirins always at one's elbow. Look back through this essay, and for certain you will find that I have again and again committed the very faults I am protesting against. By this morning's post I have received a pamphlet dealing with conditions in Germany. The author tells me that he "felt impelled" to write it. I open it at random, and here is almost the first sentence I see: "[The Allies] have an opportunity not only of achieving a radical transformation of Germany's social and political structure in such a way as to avoid a nationalistic reaction in Germany itself, but at the same time of laying the foundations of a co-operative and unified Europe." You see, he "feels impelled" to write -- feels, presumably, that he has something new to say -- and yet his words, like cavalry horses answering the bugle, group themselves automatically into the familiar dreary pattern. This invasion of one's mind by ready-made phrases (lay the foundations, achieve a radical transformation) can only be prevented if one is constantly on guard against them, and every such phrase anaesthetizes a portion of one's brain.

I said earlier that the decadence of our language is probably curable. Those who deny this would argue, if they produced an argument at all, that language merely reflects existing social conditions, and that we cannot influence its development by any direct tinkering with words and constructions. So far as the general tone or spirit of a language goes, this may be true, but it is not true in detail. Silly words and expressions have often disappeared, not through any evolutionary process but owing to the conscious action of a minority. Two recent examples were explore every avenue and leave no stone unturned, which were killed by the jeers of a few journalists. There is a long list of flyblown metaphors which could similarly be got rid of if enough people would interest themselves in the job; and it should also be possible to laugh the not un- formation out of existence, to reduce the amount of Latin and Greek in the average sentence, to drive out foreign phrases and strayed scientific words, and, in general, to make pretentiousness unfashionable. But all these are minor points. The defence of the English language implies more than this, and perhaps it is best to start by saying what it does not imply.

To begin with it has nothing to do with archaism, with the salvaging of obsolete words and turns of speech, or with the setting up of a "standard English" which must never be departed from. On the contrary, it is especially concerned with the scrapping of every word or idiom which has outworn its usefulness. It has nothing to do with correct grammar and syntax, which are of no importance so long as one makes one's meaning clear, or with the avoidance of Americanisms, or with having what is called a "good prose style." On the other hand, it is not concerned with fake simplicity and the attempt to make written English colloquial. Nor does it even imply in every case preferring the Saxon word to the Latin one, though it does imply using the fewest and shortest words that will cover one's meaning. What is above all needed is to let the meaning choose the word, and not the other way around. In prose, the worst thing one can do with words is surrender to them. When you think of a concrete object, you think wordlessly, and then, if you want to describe the thing you have been visualising you probably hunt about until you find the exact words that seem to fit it. When you think of something abstract you are more inclined to use words from the start, and unless you make a conscious effort to prevent it, the existing dialect will come rushing in and do the job for you, at the expense of blurring or even changing your meaning. Probably it is better to put off using words as long as possible and get one's meaning as clear as one can through pictures and sensations. Afterward one can choose -- not simply accept -- the phrases that will best cover the meaning, and then switch round and decide what impressions one's words are likely to make on another person. This last effort of the mind cuts out all stale or mixed images, all prefabricated phrases, needless repetitions, and humbug and vagueness generally. But one can often be in doubt about the effect of a word or a phrase, and one needs rules that one can rely on when instinct fails. I think the following rules will cover most cases:

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never us a long word where a short one will do.
3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

These rules sound elementary, and so they are, but they demand a deep change of attitude in anyone who has grown used to writing in the style now fashionable. One could keep all of them and still write bad English, but one could not write the kind of stuff that I quoted in those five specimens at the beginning of this article.

I have not here been considering the literary use of language, but merely language as an instrument for expressing and not for concealing or preventing thought. Stuart Chase and others have come near to claiming that all abstract words are meaningless, and have used this as a pretext for advocating a kind of political quietism. Since you don't know what Fascism is, how can you struggle against Fascism? One need not swallow such absurdities as this, but one ought to recognise that the present political chaos is connected with the decay of language, and that one can probably bring about some improvement by starting at the verbal end. If you simplify your English, you are freed from the worst follies of orthodoxy. You cannot speak any of the necessary dialects, and when you make a stupid remark its stupidity will be obvious, even to yourself. Political language -- and with variations this is true of all political parties, from Conservatives to Anarchists -- is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can at least change one's own habits, and from time to time one can even, if one jeers loudly enough, send some worn-out and useless phrase -- some jackboot, Achilles' heel, hotbed, melting pot, acid test, veritable inferno, or other lump of verbal refuse -- into the dustbin, where it belongs.